Starfish and Lists
First off, (as always) I love the tranquility in these photos. My dad and I stopped at the beach after running some errands when we were down on Cape Cod to snap these photos. It had just rained, and the air was cool, and the beach was almost empty. I love wrap dresses because they are so easy and so flattering on literally every body type. This one that I’m wearing is from All For Color, and pretty much every single thing from their line screams summer weekends at the beach. I paired it with my canvas tote from Sloane Ranger to complete this preppy-inspired look. It was also big enough to double as a beach bag. We stuffed our towels, snacks, and books in it before spending the day on the sand.
And now on to my list. We have been going on visits every weekend for the past few weeks to see family and friends. I love staying busy and going to new places, but I also have a fair amount of anxiety when it comes to doing anything that is outside of my normal day-to-day life. Not that it stops me. It really doesn’t. I love to travel. But I am always, always stressed out before we get on our way. So for fun, or therapy, or solidarity, or all three, I’m compiling a list of Things that I am Currently Anxious About.
- Our bedroom. I manage to keep the rest of our home fairly clean and organized. But our bedroom always looks like a bomb. I scroll through Instagram and see everyone’s gorgeous, light filled, white, minimalist bedrooms and I’m like….where is the pile of dirty laundry in their room? Where is the explosion of make up and hair products (AND I BARELY EVEN USE make up and hair products) on their vanity? Where is the pile of baby books strewn on their bedside table? NO? JUST ME?
- Driving. I used to have severe anxiety when it came to driving, and I’ve gotten a lot better. But my car was giving me issue for a few weeks, and although we have fixed the problem, I still keep having car crash nightmares. And every little sound my car makes causes me to immediately start sweating.
- Ice cream. Its summer. I want to eat ice cream on every hot day. But I can’t eat ice cream on every hot day, because my shorts will stop fitting. But I don’t want to waste a hot day and not eat ice cream. But I want my shorts to keep fitting. DO YOU SEE THE QUANDARY?
- The beach/pool. If its a hot day and I can’t get to either of these destinations, I feel like I’ve wasted the heat. Its a real thing here in New England, the summer guilt. You think I’m kidding but I’m not. I get actually stressed when I know that its going to be a perfect swim day and we won’t be able to swim. This is absurd, I know. But the fact remains.
- My bicycle. I have a really cute bike, and last summer I didn’t get to use it at all because I was very pregnant and my husband was terrified that I would fall off my bike (I don’t usually fall off my bike, just for the record). Since he had to deal with all the anxiety of me running in the woods and the risk of my tripping over roots, I saved him the double anxiety of bicycling. So now it’s this year, and I want to ride my bike, but it’s in the basement and I don’t have a baby seat for it, and so I haven’t ridden it. And I keep WASTING DAYS NOT RIDING IT! Clearly, a lot of my anxiety circles around Living Summer to the Fullest.
- BUCKET LIST stuff in general. We haven’t yet been to any concerts in Portsmouth (they have a free series every year) and at this time last year, we had been to tons. Tick tock, tick tock. WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. The same goes for the lazy river in Ogunquit, the lobster boat in Portland, Portland in general, and the list goes on…
- My keys. I lost my keys. I have no idea where they went. They disappeared. Luckily we have several sets of spares, but every time I think about them, I get a little pit of stress in my belly.
- Returning text messages/phone calls/emails. I’m relatively horrible about this. Granted, I have gotten much better about emailing since all of my collaborations for this blog and Instagram are based off of emails. But I still get anxious about them. And that person I need to call back. And that client I need to text. And that post I need to write. And…And…And…you get the idea.
- Mailing things out. I have this item that I need to return. I look at it every day and I think about it AT LEAST once a day…but have I returned it? No. I’m the same way about library books (discussed here). It’s an issue folks. A real issue.
- General Mess and Stuff. I sometimes feel like I just want to throw everything away. And I do keep throwing stuff away. But there is always more. Just like, I do keep vacuuming/sweeping/cleaning our house. But there is always more dog fur. Always more fur!
And for now, I think that is enough. That was less therapeutic than I had hoped, because now I’m just thinking of more and more things to be anxious about so…I’m going to go finish packing (something else that makes me anxious) and then go get myself a coffee and some lunch.
Just so you know, I’m not a crazy person.
What things make you anxious? Anything on my list?