Lovely Simply

Style and Lifestyle in New England

Month: March, 2016

Living in Vacationland

I grew up driving with my family from our little town in Massachusetts to Wells, Maine to spend weekends at my grandparents’ beautiful cottage. When I got married, my husband I moved into an apartment one town over from York and Ogunquit which are basically the vaca-capitols of our fine state. So I have a pretty deep set love and loyalty to this area that I live in. 
 During the summer, we go to the beach a LOT. This year, we are trying to take some little Stay-Cations during the off season while B&B rates are super low. This gorgeous overnight tote from Toss Designs just screams New England weekend, and I love it.


  I thought I’d give a little round up of our favorite local restaurants to all you non locals out there. And if you happen to swing up this way over the warmer months, try them out!
Breakfast

Congdons doughnuts in Wells.  You guys. If I could only eat at one place forever, it would be here. The doughnuts are RIDICULOUS and the biscuit sandwiches are amazing. If you have time for a sit down meal, do yourself a favor and order the corned beef hash. I’m a hash lover and it’s the best I’ve EVER had.
St. Joes Coffee in York. This is a great spot for a quick to-go breakfast before your beach walk or stroll downtown. They have tons of breakfast sandwich varieties. I love the mozzarella-tomato-pesto English muffin and the broccoli-caramalized onion-cheddar-egg white sandwhich. They also have reeeeeaaaallll good Maine blueberry iced coffee during the summer.
Lils cafe in Kittery. Sometimes I dream about the almond croissant at Lils. It’s amazing. Crusted in sugary almonds, packed with paste–I die. They also have fantastic homemade cruellers that are super crispy/soft. The perfect combo. Eat your fill, and then work it off by shopping all the outlets which are a few minutes away from downtown Kittery.

Lunch/Dinner:

The Front Porch in Ogunquit. The food here is good (nothing outrageously amazing, but tasty) but the entertainment is phenomenal. They have these fantastic piano sing-a-longs, and Nick and I belt out the broadway hits while sipping cocktails and lounging against the grand piano. I’m not kidding. Yes, we usually are the youngest people there, and we like it. After the sing-a-long, they have a drag performance on the weekend. And the place gets BUMPIN’! It is so much fun.

Fogarty’s in South Berwick. This place is a little off the beaten path, but so worth it. If you want classic New England home-style fare, and a MASSIVE old fashioned from scratch dessert selection, get your bum to Fogarty’s. In the summer they have a Strawberry Cream Pie…buttery crust, a layer of cheese cake, a layer of strawberry preserves, topped with mass amounts of fresh whipping cream, and a fresh strawberry or  two. It is so good, it should be illegal.

The Black Trumpet in Portsmouth, NH. We live right near the coast, so we frequent Portsmouth as well. And if you visit Southern Maine, you HAVE  to go to Portsmouth cause its a great little town. The Black Trumpet is definitely date-night material. Its pricey, and fancy, and wonderful. Its inside of an old wine storage building on the shipping wharf. Think dark wood, narrow windows, heavy oak beams, old brick walls. So romantic, so gorgeous. We like to have a drink at the bar upstairs (I love the signature Black Trumpet cocktail– vanilla beans, smashed blackberries ect) before having dinner in the cozy dining room downstairs. The menu is ever changing, and always locally sourced and creative.

The Friendly Toast in Portsmouth. This place is sort of comically hip and very nostalgic to me. My college friends and I would drive up from the North Shore of Massachusetts back in the day just to get breakfast and a mojito milkshake at midnight. The food is super creative and delicious, and they make killer homemade bread. My long time favorite is the Mexican Mashed Meal– spicy smashed potatos, chorizo sausage, fried eggs, and a big, buttery hunk of classic New England Anadama bread.

When Pigs Fly in Kittery. And speaking of bread, this list would never be complete without mentioning When Pigs Fly which is one of my favorite spots in the universe. They started out as just an incredible bakery and expanded to include an equally incredible pizzeria. They have dozens of bread varieties– all of which you can sample at a big old bread bar–at their bakery. Think Wild Blueberry Granola bread. Or spinach, garlic, potato bread. Or ginger-pineapple-sesame bread. You feel me? If you eat at the restaurant, get the crispy, spicy brussells sprouts to start. You’ll thank me.

And there you have it. I could go on for ages because I love food, and we love eating out…If you have any questions, shoot me an email!

outfit: sweater similar/skirt, c/o/straw hat, similar/overnight bag, c/o

List of Fives (loves and…dislikes…of motherhood)

 

Needless to say, I love being a mom. On days like today when I am reminded once more of the sad, dark, dangerous times we live in, the weight of this responsibility– to raise a child that will make this world better– is heavy on my shoulders. Before Redmond goes to bed every night, I whisper to him my hopes. That he will be kind, gentle, brave. That I am proud of him. That I will always love him. To always remember to be good to other people. To be unselfish. To learn kindness, kindness, kindness. This is not going to be a heavy post, even though this is a heavy day. Because levity is a powerful thing, and so I’m keeping it light and real as I typically try to do.   We see lots of Beautiful Motherhood images out there. And lots of us mamas (I’m talking about myself here) wax all kinds of poetic about the miracles of childbirth and being a mommy. Because, obviously. But you know? It’s not all fun and games. In fact, there are some things about it that I DO NOT LIKE. My mother told me never to complain though, so I’m going to balance out every negative with a positive so that I don’t get too whiney.

1.Thing I don’t like: Naps. Ok– I love when he actually is TAKING his nap. But no matter what I do, Redmond continues to hateloathedespise this practice. Sometimes he cries for ten minutes. Sometimes for forty five. Sometimes he takes a two hour nap. Sometimes he just straight up doesn’t sleep. Every time I think that we are getting the hang of things, Redmond decides he hates resting and we have to start all over again. Also, he almost never sleeps in the car, stroller, or carrier. The ONLY PLACE HE SLEEPS is his crib. So if he refuses to sleep, he’s just going to be crabby. Awesome.

1. Thing I love: When I go in to get him in the morning (Redmond is, thankfully, a great over night sleeper), he is all smiles. Goofy, love drunk smiles. Sometimes he waves at me. This morning, as soon as he heard my voice, he started cooing “maaaaaammmma.” Cue meltdown.

2. Thing I don’t like: Redmond’s new found Angry Voice. You know? Most changes we get all excited about. A new movement! A new food he likes! A new sound he’s making! Unless that Sound is a bloodcurdling, tantrum-esque screech…I can’t stand it. When I put him down for those god forsaken naps? He indulges freely in that screech. He sounds like he is being tortured, and I’m sorry, is it so terrible to get to lounge about in bed twice a day Redmond? I beg your pardon. 

2. Thing I love: He finally reaches for people. When he puts his arms up for me, it is the best feeling ever. When I hold him and he is feeling lovey, he will wrap his little arms around my neck and nuzzle his nose into me.

3. Thing I don’t like. Putting Redmond into his car seat. Once upon a time, he loved sitting in his carseat and he would fall asleep without fail. One day, he decided he didn’t want to do that anymore. Truly. He just stopped car sleeping. All at once. And now, half the time that I put him into his car seat, he squeals as loudly as he can while arching his back and all around being naughty. I tell him to knock it off, and he looks at me as if I am the Mistress of Torture and he could do without me.

3. Thing I love. When I have to get gas, and when Red has calmed down from The Trauma of being Placed in a Car Seat, he laughs and smiles at me through the window while I fill up the car. He thinks I am hilarious, and if he hasn’t seen me for like five whole minutes (And has therefore forgotten that I am the Mistress of Torture) his whole face lights up and he is giddy with joy. It makes me feel like a million bucks.

4. Thing I don’t like: Being Sick with a baby. When I was pregnant, I got the stomach bug, and I just laid around for two days with a bucket and slept a lot and watched a bunch of movies and sipped chicken soup in bed. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOD DAMN VACATION. Now? Well. I’m STILL sick from the flu that we all got last week…and I took exactly zero naps. I watched precisely ONE SHOW during the day in bed. I was comforting baby, walking the dog, dragging myself around the house trying to keep it from getting out of control, making dinners–and of course, breastfeeding constantly because sick baby=extra nursing sessions. I was also getting up at night with Redmond on the few nights that he was really sick to make sure that his fever wasn’t too high, and that he wasn’t getting dehydrated. I am STILL exhausted.

4. Thing I like. I love reading with him. We started this evening routine when Red was like…two weeks old. He’s always been very interactive, and he quickly developed a love for stories. Now, he has his clear cut favorites. Jungle Book and Moby Dick are his absolute, no doubts about it, obsessions. They’re from a line of books called Babylit and are totally adorable. He turns the pages and occasionally squeals with delight. He also loves his touch and feel books. He’s got Peter Rabbit and Tails and he walks his little hands over each page, looking for the “feel” on it.    5. Thing I don’t like. Redmond’s wandering hand when nursing. Is he tangling it adamantly in my hair? Possibly. Is he shoving a finger up my nose? He may be. Is he tugging with all his baby strength on my lower lip. Very likely. Even when I put my hair up in a tight ponytail, he will spend five minutes feeling around until he finds a tiny strand of super sensitive hair to pull. He has started pulling on my eyelashes when he can’t find anything else. I wish I were kidding. It makes me CRAZY!

5. Thing I like. Showers and baths with my baby. Lots of people do this from tiny newborn-hood. I didn’t though, because our bath tub is terrible, and I don’t actually LOVE baths. Because I get cold within like two minutes. But now, we shower pretty frequently together. Redmond clings like a little monkey to me, and opens his mouth to swallow water. Last week when we were both sick, and Redmond was beyond the realms of grumpy and stubbornly refusing to nap, and Nick was working late, and I was at my wits end, we ran the shower, plugged the tub part way, and sat in the warm water while the water ran over our shoulders. Redmond played happily with his bath toys as he sat in my lap, and it was utterly relaxing. Until he discovered the shower curtain and wanted to gather it to his chest and eat it…   I also love just straight up Home Days after we’ve been busy for a while. I wear my comfiest gym clothes all day, and we get to nurse slowly, play at length, and have tickle fights. The shirt I’m wearing in this post is so soft, so warm, and so cute. I would wear it every day if this wasn’t a lifestyle blog and thus occasionally requires an outfit that doesn’t include leggings…

top c/o/mug c/o hototties (sold out)/Redmonds outfit: sold out, but I love this one

The Week I Didn’t Get Dressed

My best friend happens to own a fantastic consignment store in Tarytown NY. I mentioned her Here if you want to see another look she provided me. She gifted me this gorgeous vintage dress last year when I was about 14 weeks pregnant, and I couldn’t zip my boobs up in it. But that was then and this is now and HURRAH I have the perfect Easter dress already in my closet (thank goodness.)  

Anyway, it has been A WEEK! I’m still battling some flu strain, and I spent Sunday-Wednesday alternately caring for my baby and husband. You know what sucks? Being sick with a sick baby. Especially when said baby also happens to be cutting THREE teeth. I haven’t put a real outfit on in days. I haven’t put make up on my face since Sunday… And I’ve had barely any human contact outside of my quarantined family for days. However. I cannot complain because despite his fever, and teeth, and runny nose, and cough, my little trooper boy has still slept through every night, and because of that I have been able to function with a semblance of normalcy. Until yesterday when HE was all better and I was still sick and he decided it would be a good day to go on nap strike. Why? Why doesn’t my baby like naps? The battle continues.   Anyway–today I feel somewhat better, the sun is out, and I have some fun weekend plans. Plus Easter is in a week and I’ll get to wear this great dress again. It actually went to the White House with its original owner 50+ years ago. Which I don’t think I can top for it but I’m sure it’s grateful to be worn again. Those sleeves. That square neckline. I die.    

All items in this post are vintage or old. Dress, c/o Consign Trilogy

Sunglasses Karen Walker via Ditto (free trial with the code SIMPLYHANNAH)

Similar options: HereHereHere,

Being Grown-Ups

  I wore this outfit on a family date night to our favorite pizza place this past Friday. I love me a good distressed jean+slouchy sweater combo, and this pink one was literally my first purchase in seven months. It was 11 dollars, so I felt no guilt.

My husband and I haven’t been out on a solo date night yet…and I’m beginning to really want to have one. It’s not because we are afraid of leaving Red. He goes to two different places every week when I’m out of the house. It’s just that we haven’t gotten around to asking anyone to take care of him so we can get some “us” time. Because we could really use a grown up day. Redmond is a good baby, and so much fun, but I would love to go to lunch and see a movie with just Nick, and engage in some real live relaxation. Because it is hard to relax when your offspring is attempting to eat everything in sight.  

 As I’ve mentioned like one million times, the temperatures have been blessedly mild. I’ve been feeling springy– even summery– and jeans in a lighter wash, and pale pinks (pastels of EVERY HUE because eee-gads EASTER) bring that mood right on home. Technically though, its still straight up winter, which is only good because I really do love boots (like every girl ever) and the ones in this outfit are my new favorites. So comfortable despite the 3 inch heel (I wore them all day Saturday) and so chic. Also, to make them even better– maumero donates 10% from every sale to a participating charity of your choice. I have a discount code for you all at the bottom.

Anyway. I sort of thought when I got married I’d feel like a grown up. Which didn’t happen. Then I thought I’d feel like a grown up once I got pregnant. But instead I just felt even younger because I sort of have a baby face, and even though I was 28, people were perpetually telling me that I was so young to have a baby.

Then I thought once I HAD the babe in arms, I’d feel like a real full fledged adult. But half the time the fact that I’m a mom catches me by surprise. I’ll be thirty next year. I doubt that will change anything. I have moments of course when I feel terribly grown up. For example– the thought of leaving Redmond with a babysitter for a DATE day or night with my husband feels somehow very mature. I think because it wouldn’t be a necessary thing. It would be just for fun. Like my parents used to do. He always goes to other peoples homes when I have to leave him during the week, and the idea of having someone come to the house and put him to bed and eat some snacks from our fridge seems so strangely mature. Probably when we do it though, I’ll just feel like I’m play acting and thus will still not be a Grown Ass Woman. I kid. I am, of course, terribly adult. I just haven’t had that moment where I feel like Its Happened. Like I’m the same as  my parents were. Its so strange, isn’t it? I still feel like I’m in my early twenties– not cusping on my 30’s. I still get the occasional zit for gods sake. I still get nervous/awkward around teenagers (they. are. terrifying.) I still feel like I need a parent sometimes– and my dad lives roughly one billion miles away and my mom died over a decade ago. Its so bizarre to be an adult but still feels like I need an adult. Am I talking sense? Not probably.

Anyway. All that rambling aside– I truly love this little micro-corner of the internet that I have here, and I am grateful to each person who reads. Maybe I should just start posting my outfits from time to time and peacing out but probably that won’t happen. Speaking of outfits…that pretty purse? It’s a diaper bag. Yes, yes it is. Its much smaller than my other two which I love for the days when I don’t need to bring All the Things  but still want to have it organized. This one is from Coco and Kiwi and they have an amazing assortment of fun colors for spring and summer. I kept it classic and opted for this lighter tan bag.

If you love my boots, Maumero has tons of truly stunning shoes. You can get 10% off your purchase with the code SIMPLYHANNAH.

Boots, c/o/Diaper bag c/o/jeans, old Similarish here/sweater bought at outlet Similarish here/Sunglasses, c/o/hat, old, Similar here

Well-Earned Granola Bars


If you follow me on snapchat (simply_hj) you’ll see a good amount of food content. I love cooking. I love inventing. I love eating good, whole food. I DON’T love counting calories. For me, that is a slippery slope and one that I need to stay well off of. Especially with breast feeding, I try to get plenty of tasty, real food into my body every day. Because I love cardio workouts, I need a little extra which is why I’ve titled these the Well-Earned bar. I have one after my morning sweat session, and it hits the spot. I have no idea how many calories are in them, but they are full of good fats and keep me satisfied.

 I am perfecting a recipe for a soft, chewy bar. These ones are soft but a little crumbly. Which makes them perfect for eating on their own or putting on top of some fruit and yogurt for a little treat.

 You could also add in more nuts or dried fruit–I made them on the cheap (I talk a lot about budgets…and our grocery budget is one that is challenging in a fun way for me) so I kept it pretty simple. I really love granola bars but I HATE the cheap ones that are filled with fake ingredients and never satisfy me. And I love buying small batch homemade ones from local sources, but they get seriously expensive. At my gym they are 2.50 PER BAR. I can’t afford that. These are the perfect alternative.

Well Earned Bar

3 cups quick oats (this keeps them from getting too crunchy. The old fashioned oats don’t quite do it.)

2/3 cup unsweetened shredder coconut

3/4 cup natural peanut butter or other nut butter(smooth is best)

1/2 cup melted coconut oil

1/3 cup molasses and maple syrup (or just maple syrup. I like the flavor of molasses though)

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

2 tbs chia seeds

Combine all ingredients until everything is blended. Press into a 9×9 pan and refrigerate for at least an hour. Cut into pieces and enjoy!


If you want more snack and meal ideas, follow me on snap chat and let me know what you’d like me to post recipes to!

Post Partum with Teami

  

First off–these are not my most professional photos. They were taken in my living room after a workout, with zero make up and wet hair (fact: sometimes I shower before I work out cause If Redmond is napping…well…it’s shower time.)and I used my tripod–but they are very real and raw so I’m ok with it.

So here we are. Seven months post Partum. It’s simultaneously insane that it’s been seven months and insane that it hasn’t been longer. Being pregnant is taking on more and more of a rosy, distant glow. Like it was another lifetime, which of course, it was.   

I gained a solid 35+ pounds while pregnant. I was generally ok with the weight gain, and I felt happy with my body immediately after giving birth. Honestly, just not having a ten pound baby inside me was great. I mentally decided that I would give myself until nine months post-Partum to get back to my normal size. Nine months to gain it, nine months to lose it. When I started the Teami detox, I had about three pounds to go. 

I exercise five to six days a week, and for the month of February I didn’t eat desserts during the week. Mostly. Obviously weekends were a free for all. And the occasional day when ice cream was just needed. BUT. Between the tea, and my normal life, I am officially back to just under my pre-baby weight. 

   
That being said, things have shifted. I will never have the same body I had. Which is fine by me. My hips are a little wider. My boobs bigger (I imagine that will change when I wean Redmond.) I have more of a booty (hurrah! At last!). My stomach doesn’t have quite as much tone to it. But I am happy. I feel healthy, fit, and womanly. I’m happy to be back to the weight I was, but it’s just a number.

It seems appropriate to write this up and post these very scary/vulnerable pictures the day after Womans Day, which I didn’t realize was a thing until Instagram told me so. But, it is a reminder to love each other and love ourselves as the amazing females that we are. It’s so easy to spiral into negativity (which is usually propelled by insecurity, right?) towards each other and so intensely towards ourselves. But you know what I think? I think women have had it hard enough through history. Let’s give each other a freaking break. 

Circling back to the tea, I will say that if you want to amp up your metabolism in addition to a healthy diet and exercise to drop those last few pounds, it really does seems to work. And I didn’t even use the colon cleanse tea because of breastfeeding. If you want to give it a go, you can get a discount on your order with the code HJOY10. Just keep in mind–our happiness shouldn’t revolve around a number on the scale. We should aim to be fit, strong, healthy–and that looks different for everyone. And has nothing to do with the stupid scale. 

Oh, speaking of healthy– I’ve gotten real into making homemade granola bars and quick+affordable granola. So if I get some photos today I will post those recipes on Friday! Or maybe even tomorrow if I’m feeling craaaaaazy. 

Also, more posts about my postpartum fitness and health are Here and Here if you’re interested.

Thank you to Teami for providing me with this tea. All thoughts, opinions, and experiences are my own. 

Getting My Mom Style On

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Redmond is getting really into solid foods, and I have to say– it’s awesome. He is SUCH a distracted nurser– I can’t get him to nurse in public at all because he can’t focus on the task at hand and has to be involved in everything. If we were at a restaurant I used to have to retire to the car, and hope that he wouldn’nt get fixated on the little blinking red security light (I’m  not kidding) and would actually eat. But now, I can bring him some of his crackers and a puree, and he will happily sit in a highchair and eat his little heart out. You know what else is great about that? I have a little more freedom with my clothing choices. I still need to be able to access my boobs in a pinch, but it’s not as high priority when we are out on the town. img_0916img_0918-1

Now, I focus more on having my hair up (because he pulls it constantly) and having my hands free to carry him. I use a carrier if I’m shopping or taking a long walk, but otherwise, we just carry him everywhere.

Style-wise, I want to be comfortable (of course) but chic. This time of the year, we are all getting exhausted of winter clothing. I am longing to throw on an easy dress and flats and call it a day. But I am trying to still get enjoyment out of winter accessories– hats, boots, ect– and layers.  Aaaaaand this skirt….I wore it here and here on the blog, and I also wore it on instagram for a sort of retro look in January (@simply_hannah.joy). So I like it. That’t what I’m trying to say. And being on a We Have a Baby Budget means I am constantly trying to use my versatile pieces to wear in a variety of ways.

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The other part of an outfit for me that amps it to that “extra” level is the perfect bag. I got a great diaper bag for my baby shower that I love– but Redmond has reached a wildly squirmy stage in his baby life, and that over the shoulder bag was constantly falling off of me and almost whacking him in the head. I started researching back-pack diaper bags and fell IN LOVE with the ones from Lily Jade. They pretty much are everything. Beautifully made, ridiculously chic, versatile, and super roomy. I. Freaking. Love. Them.img_0917

I chose the Shaylee in Black because of the backpack option, and the sleek design. It has a removable insert that you can take out and wash, and I really need to sit down and fully organize it so that I feel like less of a Shambles Mom when I am looking for Redmonds things…I am not very organized. I may actually just make my husband do it because he loves the heck out of that sort of thing.

When I was pregnant, I dreaded having a bulky quilted diaper bag– the kind that is so typically out there– or some garishly printed one. You know the sorts I’m talking about? They totally work for some people of course, just not for me. Also…this one? Real leather. And it wipes clean. Thank goodness because my car is covered in salt and it gets all over EVERYTHING. Hate it. img_0915-1

Also…I love the European School Girl vibe that a leather backpack gives an outfit. Is that a thing? I don’t know…but I’m liking it. I’m also liking that we will have a day this week in the upper 60’s. Even though its not one of my at home days, I still plan on living it up.

What are your style ampers? 

 

Outfit Details: Boots: Out of stock, similar here if you want to splurge/skirt/top/hat, sold out, similar in pink here/

Skirt, c/o shop golden closet/ Sunglasses Karen Walker c/o Ditto/ Diaper Bag Shaylee by Lily Jade c/o Lily Jade (all thoughts are my own.)

Real Deal Update

 

This winter has been blessedly mild. But this past week has been raw, and wet, and the whole family has been battling a god awful head cold. Everyday it has felt nearly impossible to get my butt in gear to exercise, or just to get outside for my dog (more on her in a moment) but thankfully we have our warm pookie poncho from 7am enfant so I don’t have to stress too much about Redmond staying warm. Even though I still do. But then I’ll take him out of his little cocoon after we get home and he’s all sweaty so…my fears are misplaced. But its been a long, hard week.

Which brings me to the Real Talk. My last Real Deal post was here, and I figured it was time for another. Because, as we always discuss (maybe in excess), life can look pretty damn perfect via blogs and instagram (mine is @simply_hannah.joy in case you want to follow). I don’t have any interest in posting “messy” photos on  my social media (although on snapchat, its a whole different story) because I like to see pretty things. It’s relaxing. It’s a nice escape. But I also sort of like to know the real people behind those little square images. So here we go.  My mom had a pretty intense temper. She died when I was seventeen, and I was broken by the loss for a long time. All through college, it was basically just a recovery (through my artful talents of denial) from her death. Part of the pain of losing her lay in the fact that I have a terrible memory, and I so quickly found myself forgetting the sound of her voice, the smell of her perfume, the feel of her embrace. But unfortunately, I remember her temper vividly. She loved deeply, but her anger flared up at light speed, which scared me as a kid, and made me resentful as a teenager. I’m wildly non-confrontational as a result, and I have been afraid for years that I would lose my temper like she did, and I have always worked really hard to keep myself under control. Enter Baby+ 90 pound dog+head cold+teething+exhaustion+nap wars. All in a week.

On Monday, we had almost no food left in the house. I got mentally creative and thought of a dish I could make with the frozen chicken we had. I took it out to thaw (bone in breasts) and went to the gym with Redmond. I came home to find a gigantic mess in the kitchen. My dog had torn the styrofoam apart and eaten the frozen chicken on the carpet. There was trash everywhere and meat ground into our kitchen rug. I was completely livid. It was overwhelming and immediate and I had to put Redmond down and get myself under control because I was so angry. And all week, I’ve had those waves of frustration hit me and just build and bubble until I just want to scream. Redmond has been fighting his naps every day. Lupe vomited all over the floor while I was working at home. I have been so sick. And I find myself going from 0 to 60 emotionally in seconds. I hate it. And it scares me. I was running yesterday in the freezing cold, with wind whipping my face, and Redmond kept tearing his hat off, and I had to breathe, to actually take deep breaths, to not get upset with my seven month old, ridiculously adorable baby, for refusing to KEEP HIS EARS WARM. I was speaking out loud to myself like a crazy person, “Calm. Down. Hannah. Get yourself under control.” Because I hate feeling out of control. I hate feeling frustrated at my son when there is no reason to. I hate snapping constantly at my dog when she tries so hard to be good. I am so hopelessly flawed, and inside me, I know that my moms temper is there. But I also know that I can approach it differently. Exercising helps. Walking away from a situation immediately helps. But the guilt– oh, that intensive, deep seated mom guilt can be all encompassing. I have such a blessed life– so much love in it– so much goodness– that it seems wrong to feel anything but content and happy. But the reality is, (as the French mother would say according to Bringing up Bebe) there is no perfect mother. I do the best I can do. And every day, I hope I can do a little better than the day before. And if I can’t do everything, well, Lupe will not die without a walk or a run for one day. My husband will not be upset if there is not a hot dinner ready for him when he gets home. I will not be a terrible human if the laundry doesn’t get put away (for another day…lets be honest…I’ve been looking at it since Tuesday). It’s just life. It’s just a day. There is no perfect mother, but I can always try to be better.

Coat/Stroller/Sunglasses(under 5$)/Converse/Pookie poncho c/o