Motherhood at almost five months
Redmond will be five months old tomorrow. I’m turning 29 today. How am I turning 29? Where did my 20’s go? Didn’t I JUST turn 25 and get married? How is my baby almost half a year old? Didn’t I JUST tell my husband, giddy and tearful (at the same time) that I was pregnant? Didn’t I JUST feel those contractions, scream my brains out, and produce our perfect son into this world?
I know I talk about it all the time, but the speed at which life gallops by is dizzying. And the fact that it keeps getting faster is hard for me to handle. I’ll be thirty in like ten minutes. Red will be crawling, taking steps, and facing this world head on in like twenty minutes. You know?
Being a mother is more wonderful than I ever imagined. Truly. I had expected it to be difficult…to be utterly exhausted…to be stressed and overwhelmed…And obviously sometimes I am all of those things. Bu in general it is so much easier than I had anticipated. Now that breast feeding is at last pain free (a post on that to come), I feel at ease with this whole mothering thing. When I was pregnant, my husband and I often talked about how we wanted Redmond to enrich our lives, not control them. We’ve done our best to stick to that, and we work as a team to make parenthood simpler. I feed him, Nick changes his diapers, (when we are all together) we both play with him and snuggle him. I want Redmond to feel just as close to his daddy as he does to me, and so far it seems to be that way. I was truly so scared of the changes that parenthood would bring to our life together–but now that we are in this I wouldn’t trade it. As I write this, Nick is building a tower with Redmonds Kapla blocks, and our son is chatting next to him as he plays with his little forest creatures. I’m a little bit sick and a little bit tired but I’m overwhelmingly happy.
So. Here’s to 29. Here’s to a new year. Here’s to life in all its crazy, beautiful, painful glory.
Shirt c/o Favoring the brave